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| PHREE PHIL PHOUNDATION |
2021
| Welcome to the PHREE PHIL PHOUNDATION. Since 1886, a poor little groundhog has been suffering the agony and humiliation of being paraded in phront of as many as 30,000 in one day in a desperate attempt by crowds to predict the weather. I say enough! Poor Phil (or is it Phyllis sometimes...?) seems to be oblivious to the prediction part of his (her?) situation and instead phocusing entirely upon survival as it is cast into the bright lights of the public. Can there be anything but phright for this poor animal? Where will it end? I also note that Phil appears to be rather young. Grasping the animal by the nape of the neck and wildly thrusting it bephore a maddening crowd, Phil is subjected to a brutal handling, even including the rendering of its pheet temporarily inoperable. I would assume an older, wiser animal would turn itself in an animal chainsaw and show those handlers a thing or two. Perhaps its name would then be Homelite! I thereby resolve that Phil be phreed from his philandering nabobs and released into the wild where he can make his own choice about the weather or any other phuture events for that matter... I call on all good groundhog lovers everywhere to call for Phil Phreedom Phorever! For more inphormation, check out our link at www.parapower.org. Wouldn't that be phun? Tom Reese Jr. Phree Phil Phoundation Warrenton, Virginia For a serious look at what happens to Phil, check out the neat website of: www.groundhog.org (no joking..!!!) Oh yeah, any similarities between all the junk I just sent you and real life has no real basis on phact (well...a lot of it anyway!). I'm just having some phun. Before the PETA people get their undies in a bunch, I hereby state that Phil seems to love his situation. He just doesn't sleep well on February 2nd, that's all! ©2005-2056 Phree Phil Phoundation / TWR RWSS (Ridiculous Website Stuff) and...lest I forget, Homelite is a registered trademark of © 2000 Deere & Company |